I vow...

to update this blog. Soon.

"Let go or be dragged."

It feels like my first time going through this, but it isn't. I suppose I won't ever get used to it or learn how to get used to it... having to let go of something that made me so happy. It isn't my fault that the standard was met and "settling" is what I can only receive after letting go.

I am trying, but if you want to know the honest truth: I just now realized how much I miss him. And even though I've gotten over the initial "he's gone" phase, this phase is much harder: learning to live without him.

It's hard to let go of something that made me feel so happy.

But I am trying and it is a struggle.

He let me go and that is enough to help me get through this phase.

to-do list

Check on the first one, half way! I bought my new workout clothes and I'm headed to the gym this morning! Given, I'm using my free week pass from a friend, but I plan on joining some time this week! I should reward myself with gelato.

...Kidding.
Ish..

frosted white.

I remember why I slowly ended my blog: it's because I was too busy to blog. This past week has been busy, but happy. Last weekend I went up north with my friends for some much needed girl time and had a blast. I miss hanging with my besties on weekends, but I'm so glad it's easy to drive up north. It just would be better if she lived down here again ;) From macarons to Amish to mypapercrane to a casino... memories were made, and that is what life is all about.

We got back from the trip at midnight and I had to wake up at 6 AM for an all-day work training the following day. Hah, needless to say: I was exhausted. The week went on and work went well. I love my new job: the community is happy and it's such a pleasure to work with children. And it's wonderful I get to be in charge of the art room and have fun with the art lessons I create for the children. It's a pleasure to hear how excited the kids come into the Art room :) It really brings me joy.

Life is happy.

And I only say that now because I have a good head on my shoulders and things have been working out lovely. I remind myself constantly that I make my own happiness in my life: I am in charge of who I am. I remind myself constantly to live in the present because I don't know what will happen a week/a month/7 months from now. I do not dare try and predict or create expectations; I dare to live in the present and make the most of what is in front of me. I have control of right now and I need to make the most of life. I hope you all agree and live the same way. Don't wait for the future or wait for the "maybes" and "whatcouldbes" because life is not set in stone and anything can happen.

More happy: it snowed today! We played outside like children with children today. Smiles and laughter. And then... I had to drive home in it. Hah... it took me twice as long at 20 mph here at the beach. But it sure was beautiful... I love how the snow falls so gently frosting everything white. But, oh man, when you slide as you stop too fast...I couldn't care less about the snow. Send me somewhere tropical, pronto.

workity work

My nights have been spent like my days: working. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to work on anything art-related because I've been trying to get things done, but hopefully I'll be able to get on that. I need to force myself. I need to do this. But tonight I've accomplished what I needed to as far as spending my nights with work; I have to decorate Art Gallery by Friday, so I'm heading into work early again tomorrow.

Then, I'm on my way out of town and running away to my bestie this weekend. This weekend is much needed. I hope I remember it all, haha. Kidding, I will.... it is much needed. I need girl time.

Anyway, the back of the Cheerios cereal box made me...

Happy Thursday. I hope we get snow tonight :) (Thursday night, that is).

Aisle

I looked at the first aisle of the parking lot next to the theaters and looked back: it was at night and we were walking back to the car after a movie. He said something funny, but not funny at the same time, so I joked and said, “You can find your own way back to the barracks,” and quickly walked up ahead of him.

He threw his head back in laughter and ran up behind me, wrapped his arms around my body, and lifted me up in the air. “I’m just joking!” We kept laughing and I kept shaking my head.

“That was good,” he said with a chuckle.

 I really need to move on, I know. I am trying.

Busy

I've been trying to stay busy--or at least my mind busy, so I don't dwell. I need to move on, but I keep missing him. It's a good morning when I hear from him and get a little joke. It's a good thing to hear from him--it always creates a smile. But I have to move on, even he told me so.

So I've been reorganizing and (when my tummy listens to my brain--which isn't the case when it comes to eating) eating kisses.

I'm trying here. I really am.

so jelly

So, most women eat when their hearts hurt. I, on the other hand, do not. The pinch in my stomach actually doesn't make me hungry---just thirsty for coffee. Lots of coffee. Which is bad because I will replace a meal with coffee. Anyway, Target has some wonderful stuff out right now and I ended up purchasing these three new mugs (the kitty is for my best friend). I thought it was appropriate for my coffee/tea obsession and retail therapy works for me.

Fruity Painting

I absolutely love doing art lessons with kids. After pottery kids birthday parties and summer camps, creating and implementing art lessons has not bored me yet. I absolutely enjoy it.

Yesterday, we painted with fruit. I can't wait to go into work today to decorate Art Gallery with their lovely fruity paintings!

To Paint

I felt a bit off and "sad" yesterday, so I did a little bit of painting and retail therapy. The best parts of yesterday was creating a painting that I love and realizing that I fit a size 4 in jeans! I guess my money will be going into a new jean wardrobe soon :)

My "sad" day confirmed my realization on something that I need to confess. And with my "live in the moment" lifestyle, I am confident in confessing it. Not online, but just know it's something that is weighing my mind and my "sad" day confirmed my decision :)

Happy Monday :)